Interview with a Doula

When I was pregnant, among the many questions I heard a lot was “are you going to have a doula?” To be perfectly honest, I had no idea what a doula was or why I would choose to have one. By the time May 12th rolled around, Matt was the only “doula” on staff (and he did stellar, might I add – read for yourself here). Fast forward several months and I was able to get the low-down on doulas by one herself! Ellie is a wife, mama of 2 boys, entrepreneur, massage therapist, labor doula & clothing designer…and she is really good at all of those things. So, naturally I was VERY excited when I had the opportunity to interview her and get to share it with you!

Enjoy!!

xx, rae

So what exactly is a doula?

A doula is a Greek word meaning “woman servant”.  It is a woman serving another woman. A labor doula will provide support by giving information (hopefully in meetings throughout pregnancy well before the day of labor to prepare the mom for what she wants) and reminding her of that information during labor; give emotional support (another cheer-leader in the room with experience and being a constant in the room during the whole labor process); provide physical support with massage; bring atmosphere with candles, aromatherapy and music; help with positional changes; hot and cold therapy and really whatever else that is needed.

What is the difference between a doula and midwife?

A midwife is a care provider for the mother.  She will do prenatal visits, offer testings that an OB would do at prenatal visits, can do vaginal exams and assess things medically.  A doula is not a medical professional but really a helper to the birth team. The doula would help the couple ask the right questions to the midwife or OB to make informed decisions but shouldn’t be giving medical advice or performing a medical procedure.  The midwife catches the baby (unless daddy or mommy wants to) and the doula is there giving support for the mother with a cool rag, pressure point or aromatherapy and possibly taking a picture if that’s in her portfolio.

Why did you choose to become a doula?

First, I became a massage therapist and I learned how to help people with pain and discomfort.  The pregnancy and birthing process was and is such an inspiring and awesome miracle and I wanted to help women in that process.  After becoming a mother I realize how much women need support and help during pregnancy (like non drug related therapy for discomfort) and childbirth.  Pregnancy for me was difficult and while I still think it’s beautiful, being pregnant was like having a stomach flu for 34 weeks with some sciatic pain in the middle.  Labor wasn’t easy, it was hard work! With my first I felt traumatized and with my second I felt empowered, even though my second was 3x as long! Mindset is so important, and doula can help with that!

I know personally, the childbirth recovery period was difficult. I just learned about a postpartum doula and was very intrigued. Can you explain why a new mom might want to have one?

How lovely a postpartum doula is and would have been.  She comes in for a few hours a day and some will come during the night.  She will be your personal servant for the first weeks postpartum. After you have that baby your uterus has a placenta size wound that shrinks with contractions.  When you do too much you will start bleeding and this is your sign to “slow it down mama”! In ancient cultures and currently in other parts of the world the mom is in bed for 4-6 weeks to heal and bond and feed her baby.  Her mother and aunts will come and take care of the house during this time. In our culture that just doesn’t seem possible and is almost frowned on. BUT a good recovery postpartum will help the mama for years to come. The postpartum doula will clean, cook and take care of baby if you want her to.   She might have breastfeeding training and can help you with latch. She will also be giving support by information, emotional and physical.

That sounds pretty perfect for any new mama. How about tips – what would you tell a new or expected mama?   

Learn to breathe through your diaphragm for labor and postpartum hormones, keep your birth team simple (less people= less drama=increased relaxation=labor progresses more fluidly), and prepare for postpartum!  If you can’t have a PP Doula then prep meals or have “Sunbasket” ( or something similar ) come to your house, and ask friends to help with chores before holding your baby.

Also from my midwife :  “Whether people are sick or dying they still go to the grocery store and church”;  so avoid those places for 6 weeks, and go to places you already have immunity to like your parents house and maybe the beach if you need a change of scenery”.

I found creating a birth plan a little overwhelming, but other mamas planned out so many details. What are your thoughts on birth plans?

Don’t just download one off the internet and check yes to everything it says.  You have to do the research. If you don’t know why you don’t want something (“because someone told me it was a bad idea”) than you will not stick to it.  It’s your body and baby and up to you to know what goes on with it. It’s more important to be informed than to have a birth plan. There are times you need to say “come what may and give in to interventions” and there are times to “stick to your guns “ or “wait it out”.  I personally couldn’t get myself to write one out (I can get lazy with writing) but I had a strong relationship with my midwife and was very informed.  

It can be hard to remember everything you learned in childbirth education class or what you read in a book on the day you are having intense contractions and things come up.  My tip is to make a quick outline. Keep it simple, be flexible and download my free PDF of “7 questions for a Better Birth”. These are questions to ask as things come up so you can make informed decisions during labor.  Have it on your phone and your loved one’s.

Let’s circle back to that postpartum period – what can new mamas do to help work through this delicate time?

Get nipple cream or lanolin, and use a sitz bath with herbs for it!  It will help with healing. I made postpartum pads where I got aloe vera gel, witch hazel, lavender EO, Frankincense EO. Mix it together and pour over clean (organic if possible) pads, refold and put in the freezer for postpartum use.   Also, get a massage because labor and holding a baby can make your muscles sore. Relaxation is the key for breast milk too! 

There’s a great debate about medications during childbirth. Do you have any tips for deciding whether or not to have a medicated birth?

Research!  A great read is “The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth”  by Henci Goer.  

For healthy birth practices check out this site: https://www.lamaze.org/childbirth-practices

You have to download the Pdf versions of each one to get the “why”.  You need to know your why. When you are in the throws of labor, the Why will keep you going.

You are also a very talented clothing designer, with one of your recent creations being the Breast Vest. I have fallen in love with mine and can see using it even when I’m not breastfeeding! But I’d love to hear more about it – how do you come up with the design?  

Before I became a massage therapist, doula, and mother I was a clothing designer.  I still am and have come up with something to help mothers with a problem that I had.  

The problem was that most nursing covers only cover the top half of you and blankets get thrown around.  While wearing front carrier and breastfeeding my baby, my back was showing, and I had no where to put my keys, wallet and phone because there was no pockets. Carrying a purse and a baby while shopping was too much!  I was a very hot postpartum mom and wearing a tank top bra was too much and most the time I forgot to put it on before going out. So I found luxurious fabric that is breathable and soft. I came up with a design with deep pockets and versatility on how you want to cover, it wears nicely over any outfit and is fashionable.  It is ethically made and eco-friendly. I named it the “Breast Vest”. It is still very hush hush and I plan on opening my market up at www.elliekelley.com  February 1st. 

I will then add organic cotton t-shirts flattering for moms.  Then blouses, dresses, pants and skirts. They will all be basic pieces that can add to your wardrobe and be an evergreen in your closet.

I can’t wait to see all of your designs! You have such a vision. Another great creation of yours is your YouTube channel…can you tell me about it?

My channel is called “Ellie Kelley Mama”

I share tips I learned as a mother, a doula and I interview other professionals in the birthing community to help educate new parents on pregnancy, labor and postpartum.  Check it out for yourself 😊

Will do!! Thank you so much for all the info & your beautiful design.

Here’s a recap of resources:

Check out this site for amazing quality and prices on Essential Oils.

Free download: “7 questions for a Better Birth”

Follow Ellie on IG here.

Subscribe to Ellie’s YouTube here.

Keep up to date with Ellie’s blog here.

Shop Ellie’s designs here.

Follow me on IG here.

Follow me on Pinterest here.

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